Pete’s Vision

Over the next two months, Marci will share some of her journal entries from twenty-five years ago and explore how respite impacted her and Pete’s lives together, quietly strengthening them to accept his passing, love more profoundly in the face of death, and ultimately live life with meaning, purpose and passion.

And where does time go?  Twenty-five years ago this month, I was the caregiver for my young husband Pete, who was in what we would call today palliative care for cancer. Having almost passed away in June 1999, Pete was given the July and August bonus months of life during which God perfected him in his suffering, AND we, as his family and friends, got to spend some profound time together.

These two months were intense – but even in the darkness of death, more significant was the entry of light into Pete’s mind, body and soul.  It was his light that carried all of us who felt so heavy as we watched him slowly ebb away from us. 

These two months were Pete’s awakening to life!  I know that seems strange to say because he was actively dying, but in this transition, the purpose of life, and specifically, the purpose of his life, was unfolding. This exact week, twenty-five years ago, he intently set out the framework for For Pete’s Sake.  He wasn’t wallowing in pity or enraged with anger because his life was ending way too soon; he was focused on others.  He profoundly understood the impact that respite had on our journey and wanted to share this same gift with others facing cancer. 

I grabbed a yellow pad and took notes. His vision was a community that would give adult cancer patients and caregivers special time together—away from the stress of cancer—and the ability to meet others facing similar diagnoses.  

And he shared his vision with others!  I can recall our friends Brian and Kelley visiting and Pete pontificating about what we needed to do to make this happen.  Maybe thinking about others took away the pain of his own situation.  I am sure this was part of Pete’s focus, but I think Pete gave us a crash course in life: we are better together.

I was scared but knew Pete’s vision could change lives. So, I quit my job and dedicated myself to making it a reality with the resources I had and the support of countless friends and family. Over the past 25 years, the FPS Respite Experience has transformed from offering a one-week stay at a donated vacation home at the Jersey Shore to a week-long program at America’s top family resort, Woodloch. Now, up to ten families facing cancer connect, make friends, and engage in meaningful activities focusing on seven health pillars. In the coming year, we have even more surprises that will bring Pete’s vision full circle.

To be continued…